Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
