i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
