This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
