Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
