so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
