Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
