loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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