Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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