I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
