How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
