So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
