You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
