His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
