we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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