the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The ass gains better be worth it
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