As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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