So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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