Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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