I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
