Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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