he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I am mentally ready for anal.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
