I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize