Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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