Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize