hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
it glows. i had to have it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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