About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
