It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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