if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
