and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize