u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
