I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
