your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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