Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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