what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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