Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
