We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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