my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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