we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Panties = found
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
