She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
