It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize