..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
