My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
