Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
ok first of all what the fuck
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize