pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize