i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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