i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
