Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
