Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
