A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize