Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
