Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Michael Bay diarrhea
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
