smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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