If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Randomize
