I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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