Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
