I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
