i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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