If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
