im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
