I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
