I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
