you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
