I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
