And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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