u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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