So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
