Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize