Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
