Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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