I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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