you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
