You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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