Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
