Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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