Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
