It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
