Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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