now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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