apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
