Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
