Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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