What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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