So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
