ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize